Penny For Your Thoughts
by thomps
Summary: A series of unrelated drabbles and short one-shots.
1. Molly: The City

Molly thinks that she might like to live in the city. The flashing lights, the loud sounds, it all seems so exciting. Molly had never been into the Muggle city before; she was born and raised in the country.

It wasn't until a few years later that she visited the city for the first time, her hand intertwined with Arthur's. She loves the lights and the sounds but then she sees the people. A mother drags her child along while she cries her eyes out, someone falls over and not one person stops to help; no one _cares._

Molly tightens her hold on Arthur's hand and her other hand curls protectively around her stomach where Bill is an ever so slightly prominent bump.

She wants to live out of love not greed.


	2. Snape: After Death

Severus found himself lying in a park. Not just any park, but the park which he spent many hours with Lily Evans as a child.

He knew at once that he was dead.

Sitting up he wondered if he should check the progress on the Battle of Hogwarts, but given his present position he couldn't bring himself to care. There were more important things for him to do.

He wanted to find Lily, tell her he was sorry and ask for forgiveness.

Severus wondered if Harry had seen his memory yet. Did he know that after all of the hard work it was to end his life?

He wanted to hate Albus for that. He did so much for this one boy, the boy with the bright green eyes, and from the very start, Harry was to die.

Severus couldn't bring himself to hate him though, because though he made his fair share of mistakes, no-one could deny that Albus Dumbledore was brilliant and he was sure that everything would work out, eventually.

Severus knew that Harry would give himself in; he could not bear watching his friends die for him.

He found himself wondering if he might see Harry soon.

_Maybe I ought to congratulate him._

The smallest smile came to his lips.


	3. Regulus: Always Outdone

Sirius has always outdone Regulus.

Sirius was always their parents' favourite. Though he hated them and they hated him for bringing down the _Black_ name they always liked his spirit and defiance more than Regulus' obedience.

Through school, Sirius was the popular one. Everyone loved him and Regulus was left with those that accepted him, not because of his personality but because of his _name._

The day Regulus joined the Death Eaters he was proud. Here was something that Sirius would never do, a way that Sirius could not outdo him.

But at his first battle with the Order of the Phoenix he sees Sirius fighting, not just for himself like all the Death Eaters were, but for his friends, his real _family._

Once again, Sirius has outdone him. He's got friends, who actually care, people who will mourn if he is killed but all Regulus has is a mask, a few acquaintances and a family who will smile when he dies and celebrate for their son has died honourably, for the Dark Lord.

To realise that to the Dark Lord, Death Eaters are nothing but pawns in his plan; replaceable and nothing more than bodies to replace once they're gone, this pushes Regulus over the edge.

So Regulus dies in a cave of darkness, defying the Dark Lord. No-one will weep for him because who will weep for someone they never knew?

Before Regulus dies he thinks of Sirius and hopes that though Sirius his whole life defying blood status and the Dark Lord, maybe this one act of defiance will make people remember Regulus as a hero as well. Regulus does not want the _Black_ name to go down in darkness but rather it to go down in a blaze of fire.

When Sirius arrives in the afterlife he is met with smiles and laughter. They dance and they sing and they _enjoy._

Regulus sits alone, watching, and thinks that yet again, Sirius has outdone him.


	4. Peter: In Remembering

Peter apparates onto the doorstep, his shoulders covered by a large black cloak. He unlocks the door with a key that he finds hidden behind a loose brick in the wall. He is surprised by how untouched everything is.

He steps into the house and the carpet wheezes up a cloud of dust, no-one has been in the house for thirteen years.

He knows he shouldn't have come back, but he wants to remember, needs to see if he made the right choice. Peter navigates around the house easily; it's been thirteen years, though it seems like several lifetimes, yet it feels as if he had come home late from another Order mission. His hand starts to shake but Peter just clenches it into a fist to stop the shaking, and he ignores the feeling of dread that has settled into his stomach.

His footsteps are muffled on the carpet as he makes his way to his bedroom. The room is just like the rest of the house, dusty and un-used. Trying to ignore the feeling of guilt that is creeping up on him he crouches and pulls a book out from under the bed. It is a photo album from his years at Hogwarts.

His hands start to shake again and he grips the album harder, until his knuckles turn white, and he has to take deep breaths trying to calm himself.

He tells himself that he is being silly, he shouldn't be worried about looking at a few photos, and he almost manages to believe it.

He flips open the book to find a photo from before graduation. Remus, Sirius, James, Lily and himself are smiling up at the camera, unaware of the horrible world that awaits them. Peter studies their faces, comparing the Hogwarts versions to the current versions.

Hogwarts' Peter smiles at the camera, he's happy and carefree, he has not yet been approached by Death Eaters. Peter stares at him, trying to see himself in the glossy, happy person in the photo but he finds that he is nothing like that Peter.

Sirius is laughing at the camera, a loud barking laugh, at which everyone smiles, because his happiness is infectious. His arm is slung casually around James shoulders as he shouts loudly about how much more freedom they will have once they leave Hogwarts. The Sirius that Peter saw just a few weeks ago was very different. His face was haggard, his laugh was hollow, and his eyes showed that he had seen too many bad things and not enough good.

Remus is smiling at the camera, he looks disapprovingly at Sirius but anyone who knows Remus can see that he is truly enjoying himself. Peter remembers how Remus looked at Hogwarts; he was tired, poor and ever so lonely. He looked like he was trying to shoulder the weight of the entire world.

Peter looks at those three smiling faces and finds that he has to sit down; his knees are shaking so much.

He can't look at the two other's in the picture, to look at them would just remind him of his failure but then he reminds himself that he is a Gryffindor and he is supposed to be brave.

Then he looks and he wishes he hadn't told himself to be brave. He wishes he could have just stayed cowardly Peter and followed orders blindly, never coming back to this house.

They are blissfully happy. Their happiness seems to radiate from the piece of paper. Peter wishes he could somehow siphon the happiness into himself, a bit of relief from the nightmare that he is living.

James' arm is around Lily's waist and he is grinning at the camera. His hair is messy, his tie undone and he is exactly as Peter remembers him.

Lily's eyes seem to look straight into his very core as she looks at the camera; then she turns away from the camera and kisses James on the cheek.

Peter's hands start shaking again and tears are falling fast and heavy from his eyes. He is screaming, 'where did I go wrong?', but no-one will answer him.

His heart feels broken, splintered into a million pieces and he will never be able to put it back together again when he is missing half the pieces. His whole body is shaking now, he can't do anything to stop it so he just lies in a ball, on his bed, shaking and crying as he drowns in thoughts and feelings he told himself he would never bring to the surface.

As the sun rises the next day Peter rises slowly, putting everything back in its place, as if no-one had ever disturbed the peace. He pretends that the night of weakness never happened, he goes on with his life.

He realises now that he can never be a good Death Eater because he has the ability to love; but he could never quit now, he would be killed straight away.

Peter is too scared to die; he is not afraid of death itself but of who or what will meet him on the other side.


End file.
